Top 30 Dumbest Movies Ever

                                THE 30 MOST DUMBEST MOVIES EVER MADE

FRIDAY THE 13th (1980)
Thicko Rating  10/10 - "Lets follow this blood trial to that empty cabin . It'll be cool"
Interesting Facts -   Kevin Bacon should be ashamed of himself.

The arrival of John Carpenter's Halloween in 1978 started a new genre of film - The Slasher movie. For this you needed several ingredients. 1) A psychopathic killer with an eye for fresh young nubile bodies. 2) Some fresh young nubile bodies and 3) A particular date in the calendar to start the bloodshed.

Films like April Fool’s Day, Happy Birthday To Me, New Year’s Evil and even Silent Night, Deadly Night – a film about a killer Santa (sorry but that’s manky and not in keeping with the season of good will) followed this trend, all fairing moderately at the box office.  Seeing the success of a little movie like Halloween, ( the most successful independent movie ever made until Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles came along ...Jesus wept) Sean S. Cunningham – a man who couldn’t direct a hosepipe let alone a movie, brought out Friday The 13^th in 1980, making himself and Paramount Studios a nice bit of dosh in the process.

The plot had been rehashed many times by now. Those into their horror movies will remember pictures of the era like Terror Train, Prom Night and the more high profile Carrie, all with one running theme – revenge. Whilst Carrie was an excellent adaptation of Stephen King’s novel with Sissy Spacek fantastic as the set-upon geek with a sideline in telekinesis, Friday The 13^th involved a cast of a dozen with a collective brain-cell count of the same.

When a film starts with Crazy Ralph telling two horny teenagers ( I’ll admit there’s a nice bit of T&A – tits & ass – action in parts) that Camp Crystal Lake is cursed ever since a mysterious boy drowned there and they’re all going to die , it’s probably a good sign to turn back.

Fortunately for our killer he’s dealing with American teenagers here so he’s in luck. You see common sense doesn’t apply. Take the test yourself.......

You’re told you will be cut to pieces on entering the camp by a knife wielding maniac.

YOU “Grand lads...enjoyed the 27 seconds here, I’m off home...to another country...as far away as I can get from here...the bastards not that good!”

Dumb Teenager “Hey that guy looks hot...I can’t wait to get my tits out!”

Crazy Ralph told you to never go for a moonlight swim, away from the camp.

YOU “I don’t generally pack swimming trucks and bathe for a psychopath to stab me 46 times”

Dumb Teenager “It’s -18 out and the wind is howling....what better time to numb my body with a swim...and get my tits out!”

There’s a trail of blood leading up to that old cabin in the woods.

You “ I’m already gone...haven’t you read the answer to question 1?”

Dumb Teenagers; “Hey Becky , lets follow that trail of blood and dismembered bodies up to that old deserted cabin.....and then you can get your tits outs”

Astonishingly when the film was released In September of 1980 (even though there were three Friday the 13^th dates in that calendar year --- you see –thick!) it was watched by an even dopier audience.

The film which cost just over $500,000 to make became a box-office smash , took in $40 million and unfortunately started the longest running film series saga – outside James Bond (and that’s the ONLY time you’ll see them in the same sentence) an still going strong.

To see what makes the film even more appalling, you don’t have to look past the 2 and a half minute trailer.............which basically shows you how the entire cast is killed. Even Kevin Rasher (alright, Bacon) can’t save the movie. At the end the twist of course is that Jason Voorhees didn’t actually kill everyone, instead it was his mother, proving the psychotic gene is alive and well among the Voorhees family. She gets decapitated by possibly the only sane girl in the film, who then decides the best place to fall asleep at the end of the movie is out in a canoe...alone... where Jason had drown several years earlier.

And yes Crazy Ralph told her that was suicide as well.

The director was all heart and the end...leaving her live...until she gets a knife through her skull in the first five minutes of part 2.

The death scene was nicknamed ‘Camp Blood’ – even more of a reason to stay away, and a new set of horny teenagers followed blood trials, swam in the nip and got their tits out in various places in part 2. The last ‘Friday’ was a remake of the original in 2009 and was about as effective as a one legged man in an arse-kicking contest.

If only they’d listened to crazy Ralph....they’d be no film in the first place.