Friday, 8 March 2013

Swear Jar Symphony!



                                                   THE SWEAR JAR SYMPHONY

Ever think of making some money on your misery? What about earning some dosh from your delirium? Maybe a few Euros for your agony or ecstasy?
The truth is,  at 7.45 on Friday March 8th to the 12th of October (or beyond), you will, without a shadow of a doubt, curse an absolute blue streak over the next 7/8 months...So much so it’s probably worth having a swear jar around. You may have avoided relegation or won the championship, chances are you’ll be able to finance a holiday to Florida ten times over when it’s all finished.
It could be for a 45 yard screamer in the last minute to beat the old enemy...Or an injury time equalizer conceded from a corner that was diverted into your own next via the ref’s arse.
Either way, here are 20 sentences that will come out of your month this season, that’ll earn you some Euro is you stick to a swear jar.


“Come on now lads, right from the f****** start”   - obvious.....so 10 cent
“I f****** told you he was s***” – cursing the new right-back ...15 cent
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...F****** NOOOOO” – last minute loss ..20 cent
“Go on you f******* good thing!!! – Repeated several times in season – 20 cent
“I  do better than that f****** clown” – would you really? 20 cent
“I can’t wait to annoy the b******* on Monday morning!” Loyal – 20 cent
“What harm, the other b*******s lost” –  solace in your enemies loss – 30 cent
“That sunshine b******, coming out ‘cause we’re winning – truthful – 35 cent
“ Don’t know what your f******* doing” – if said directly to manager – 40 cent
“We’re definitely f****** going up this season, I love my club”  – 40 cent
“We’re definitely going down this season, I f****** hate my club” – 40 cent
“”That’s better than f****** sex” ( when wife/girlfriend not around) – 45 cent
“That’s better than f******* sex (said with wife/girlfriend around)
“The referee’s a w******/who’s the b****** in the black?” –  60 cent
“Please God. PLEASE” – Prayer, the last refuge of a scoundrel “ – 1  Euro.

Chances are by tonight you’ll be down about €54!



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